Today we will discuss why Radha and Krishna did not marry each other in spite of great fondness for one other. Everyone of us knows about the opposition that the relationship got from the family and the society. The family members of Radha would not allow her to meet Krishna but she could not stop herself and would follow the tune of his flute. Once her family members tied her to the bed so that she could not go to Krishna but what happened was very strange and divine.
The Magic of the Flute
It was a full moon night and Krishna was playing his flute as usual. All the gopis were dancing around him. Krishna could feel the pain Radha was going through as she was tied to the bed. Krishna went to Radha’s house along with his brother Balaram. They went into the room of Radha and took her along. All night they danced to the divine music of Krishna’s flute. Next day morning when Radha’s mother came to her room and saw that she was sleeping in her bed. So she did not tell her anything and was happy.
Krisna Wanted To Marry Radha
Krishna once told his mother Yashoda that he wanted to marry Radha. His mother was against this marriage because Radha was five years elder to Krishna and she was already engaged to someone. So Yashoda told Krishna that Radha was not the right girl for him. Yashoda further added that the fiancé of Radha was away fighting a war for Kansa and when he will be back they will get married.
Radha was from an ordinary family and Krishna was the son of the chief so his mother had an objection with the families too. Yashoda did not like Radha as she was not the type of girl she wanted for her son. Krishna was very fond of Radha and he wanted to marry her. He loved her and always wanted to be with her. He argued with his mother and said that it was for him to decide if he wanted to marry her or not and it was for him to decide if she was right for him or not.
The Argument About Radha
Yashoda and Krishna would often argue about Radha. When Yashoda did not have anything more to say she would go to Krishna’s father and tell him that see your son wants to marry that Radha. Yashoda would say “I do not like that girl because she keeps dancing all around the village. If we do not stop this the results might be very bad”. Nand was the father of Krishna and he had a soft heart. He loved his son and wanted to talk to him about the matter.
Krishna was adamant and won’t change his stand. So Nand took Krishna to his guru so that his guru could explain the situation to him and convince him not to marry Radha. This was the last way out Nand could think as he did not know if he should support his son or his wife in this matter.
The Guru’s Advice
Gragacharya and Sandipani was the guru of Krishna. His Guru told Krishna that the aim of his life was different. He was born to give moksha to people and to set Dharma. In such a situation how could he marry a girl who did not belong to his caste and the aim of this girl’s life was very different from the life of Krishna.
On this Krishna said that if he was to set dharma the start of this could not be by doing an adharma like leaving a woman who loved him madly. He said that Radha saw him for the first time when he was tied to a mortar. She saved him and since then he was the aim of her life. All her days would start and end with Krishna.
She could not think of anything or anyone other than Krishna. He lived in her and she lived in him. If for one day she did not see Krishna she would not mad and almost reach death bed. How could Krishna refuse a bond and love like this just because she was elder to him, engaged to someone else and she was not from the same cast as Krishna. He said that if he left Radha she would die and will it be a right thing to do. Will it not be an act that is against dharma.
The guru patiently heard all that Krishna said and the he replied “Krishna the aim of your life is different. You cannot get attached to such small things you have to look beyond your village, your friends and look at the world that is outside all this.” Krishna now got emotional and said “I do not care about what life has in store for me. I do not want to be anything great. I just want to enjoy with my friends and live happily in my village. I do not have any aspiration to become anything great”. The guru now went into deep thoughts and decided that it was time that Krishna was told about the story of his birth.
The guru started to tell Krishna about how he was born. He told him that Krishna was not the son of Nand and Yashoda. They just brought him up. He was actually the son of Devki and Vasudev who were living the life of captives in the prison of Kansa. Krishna always knew that something was not right. Something within him would tell him that he was not the son of Yashoda and Nand. Now he understood why he would get such feelings. You are not an ordinary boy. You are an incarnation. You were born to rescue your parents and to ensure that dharma is again set in this world. You will kill the evil and ensure that the truth wins. Many saints have been talking about your coming to earth. All the incidents that you have been a part of since birth proves that you are not an ordinary person there is something very divine about you.
The Internal Conflict
Krishna always had this conflict within himself. He did at times feel that he did not belong to the place and these people where he was. Now when his guru told him about the story of his birth all of a sudden everything changed and he was a different person. All these people became strangers to him. He went into a state of deep thought and shock. Krishna went to Govardhan Mountain and sat at the top most point. He kept looking at the sun that was setting.
For the first time he realised that a power was filling him from within. He was in deep thought and he realised that the aim of his life was something big. Till now he was thinking that he would marry Radha and spend the rest of his life in the village with his friends. He had a vision of a very simple life for himself. However, now all of a sudden he realised that the aim of his life was something much greater and he had to full fill that.
After spending a good number of hours in the mountain he felt a sense of self realisation. He came back to his village and he saw that all of a sudden his friends were bowing down in front of him and showing him more respect. He was more satisfied and happy now. Even Krishna had become more serious he was no longer the young lad who was playing pranks on others. Just a few hours spent in the mountains and he was a different person.
The Last Raas
Before leaving Vrindavan Krishna thought that he would arrange for a last Raas. He called all his friends and Radha for the Raas leela. Krishna had to leave Vrindavan in order to full fill the aim of his life for which he was born. Everyone came for this Raas and the celebrations went on. Everyone was very happy. Radha reached a state of trance. She was dancing without any control. Krishna knew what was happening to her so he went to her and said. Take my flute and from today only you will be playing this. I will never play this again. Saying so, he gave off his favourite flute to Radha and went from Vrindavan. Radha kept playing the flute for the rest of her life.
Krishna had to leave Radha because he had a bigger mission in his life and by marrying Radha he would not have been able to achieve it. Krishna became more serious and he was now following the aim of his life. He never came to meet Radha. Many people would tell him that why don’t you go meet Radha. Krishna would say I never left her. I am still there where she met me. I want her to always remember me as Gopal. I am not Krishna for her. I am the simple village boy who used to play with her and whom she loved like mad. I don’t want her to see me in this form and get confused. I want her to be happy wherever she is.
The Pure Love
It is not important why Krishna and Radha did not marry. It is also not right to decide if they should have got married or not. What is important is that they both loved each other and the love was very pure as well as strong. A bond that is not important if she got married or not and whether she had kids. What is important is that she loved Krishna and she loved him beyond all reasons. She danced with him and in that state she forgot where she was and who she was.
Her love and dedication for Krishna was so great tha even today we remember her. Krishna never married her and he did get married to other women. However, when you see a Krishna temple you will always find Radha beside him and not his wives. This is because Krishna and Radha are the same. They both are incomplete without each other. They are like purusha and prakriti (the male and female forces that make the universe). Although they were not married they both were always worshipped and they will be worshipped even in the future.
Lord Krishna loved Radha and wanted to marry her but he did realise that the aim of his life was different so he left her and took the path of fulfilling his karma. This gave him a lot of pain but he never complained about it. Some say Radha got married and some say she did not. Whatever it is they had a strong bond and they will always live in the heart of their devotees. She never asked him why he left her and neither did she come looking for him. She was happy with what she got of Krishna and she knew that Krishna would never forget her. They had a very special relationship and bond that was beyond all insecurities. Even Krishna never went back to look for her. He went on with his life and always remembered her in his own special way. Perhaps this is how true love should be absolutely unconditional and without any sense of regret.